瓦巴杰克

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翻译：ANK、汤镬、大學和官中
数据：主要来自UESP Books

瓦巴杰克

瓦巴杰克

Story of one man's summoning of Sheogorath and descent into madness

小孩不应该召唤永恒的黑暗力量，除非有成年人在场，我知道我知道。但是在首种月五日，我不想要任何成人陪同。我想见智慧、橡胶与光泽之神赫麦尤斯·莫拉。你知道，有一个居住在我家乡图书馆里的胸肌发达的人告诉我，首种月五日是赫麦尤斯·莫拉的夜晚。如果我想要得到智慧之书《无限智典》，就必须召唤他。特别是当你刚刚成为独孤城的国王，任何一点知识都会有很大的帮助。

通常，你需要女巫集会或者法师公会来召唤湮灭世界的王子，至少要有合适的垫子和帆布，而图书馆里的人告诉了我怎么凭自己的力量做到这件事。他告诉我等到风暴达到高潮时剃光一只猫身上的毛。我忘记了这套仪式后面的部分，但这没有影响。

有一个人出现了，起先我以为是赫麦尤斯·莫拉，唯一令我感到怀疑的是从以前的阅读中，我了解到赫麦尤斯·莫拉是一个长有滴状斑点和许多眼睛的庞然大物，然而这个家伙长得像一个身穿马甲的银行家。此外他一直管自己叫谢尔格拉，而不是赫麦尤斯·莫拉。这些矛盾并没有影响我，我仍然为成功地召唤了赫麦尤斯·莫拉而高兴。他让我做了一些在我看来毫无意义的事（我想它们超出了凡人的认知范围和理解能力），随后他的仆人很荣幸的给了我一个叫做瓦巴杰克的东西。

瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克。

瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克。

瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克。

可能，瓦巴杰克就是那本智慧之书，我可能变聪明了，因为我知道猫可能是蝙蝠，可能是帽子，可能是小虫子，可能是那个也可能是这个。门可能是猪，可能是鼾声，可能是地板，可能是咆哮声，可能是种子，可能是你的也可能是我的，我一定很聪明，因为我非常清楚事物之间的关联。那么为什么，究竟为什么，人们一直说我是疯子呢？

瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克、瓦巴杰克。

Wabbajack

Wabbajack

Story of one man's summoning of Sheogorath and descent into madness

Little boys shouldn't summon up the forces of eternal darkness unless they have an adult supervising, I know, I know. But on that sunny night on the 5th of First Seed, I didn't want an adult. I wanted Hermaeus Mora, the daedra of knowledge, learning, gums, and varnishes. You see, I was told by a beautiful, large breasted man who lived under the library in my home town that the 5th of First Seed was Hermaeus Mora's night. And if I wanted the Oghma Infinium, the book of knowledge, I had to summon him. When you're the new king of Solitude, every bit of knowledge helps.

Normally, you need a witches coven, or a mages guild, or at least matching pillow case and sheets to invoke a prince of Oblivion. The Man Under the Library showed me how to do it myself. He told me to wait until the storm was at its height before shaving the cat. I've forgotten the rest of the ceremony. It doesn't matter.

Someone appeared who I thought was Hermaeus Mora. The only thing that made me somewhat suspicious was Hermaeus Mora, from what I read, was a big blobby multi-eyed clawed monstrosity, and this guy looked like a waistcoated banker. Also, he kept calling himself Sheogorath, not Hermaeus Mora. Still, I was so happy to have successfully summoned Hermaeus Mora, these inconsistencies did not bother me. He had me do some things that didn't make any sense to me (beyond the mortal scope, breadth, and ken, I suppose), and then his servant happily gave me something he called the Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack.

Wabbajack.

Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack.

Maybe the Wabbajack is the Book of Knowledge. Maybe I'm smarter because I know cats can be bats can be rats can be hats can be gnats can be thats can be thises. And that doors can be boars can be snores can be floors can be roars can be spores can be yours can be mine. I must be smart, for the interconnective system is very clear to me. Then why, or wherefore do people keep calling me mad?

Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack.